btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
