I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
