apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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