the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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