did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
