no, he came in my armpit
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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