I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
