I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
