I think my vagina is haunted
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
