I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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