Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
