you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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