Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
