i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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