you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
