How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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