He is an equal opportunity slut.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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