Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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