so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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