If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
