You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
