my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
