i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
