the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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