my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't deserve a penis
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
