Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
