The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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