they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
