Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
