So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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