I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
