No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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