Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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