Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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