tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Small penises have feelings too.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
