You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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