I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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