Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
