brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
