Me too!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
