You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
