I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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