i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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