not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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