i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You have to summon your inner elephant
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
