I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
