This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
