A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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