We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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