After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
