oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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