I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
