someone owes me an orgasm
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
